Difficulty Managing Anger? – How A Therapist Can Help
Although anger is a prickly emotion to experience, it’s an important one to pay attention to. Anger can be a signal that a boundary needs to be put up or that a need is not being met. Many people were never taught how to healthily express their anger and have learned to suppress this uncomfortable emotion. When we don’t express our anger in a healthy way or push it down, it can come out in other ways, such as reactivity or rage. Therapy can be a safe place to explore this anger and learn new ways to understand, manage and express it in a productive way.
What Therapy Might Look Like
Therapy is a place where you can better understand yourself. A therapist can support you in managing your anger by first getting to know it. Where does it show up? What is your response to the feeling of anger? What are the drawbacks of expressing (or not expressing) your anger in this way? From here, your therapist may incorporate tools to help you become more comfortable with the feeling of anger without reacting to it. An example of this might be offering grounding techniques , such as naming the emotion or engaging your senses in some way.
A Word on Radical Acceptance
Perhaps your feelings of anger stem from a situation or event that is out of your control. Another approach your therapist may use to help you address anger (or any painful emotion) is radical acceptance, a foundational skill taught within Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Radical acceptance means to fully acknowledge the reality of whatever circumstance is causing you distress. This can be applied to a recent death of a family member, a loss of a job, or processing a natural disaster. Although radical acceptance can be an empowering skill to develop in taking back control of your emotions, it is important to note what radical acceptance doesn’t mean. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you think the situation is acceptable. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you are throwing in the towel. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you are sweeping the issue under the rug. Ultimately, radical acceptance can be a valuable tool in managing anger and reactivity by allowing the reality of whatever circumstance you are in to exist, ultimately, diminishing your reaction to it.
Whether you’re needing guidance to navigate and problem solve the source of your feelings of anger or support in moving toward radical acceptance, you don’t have to do it alone.
Sources:
DBT Skills List. (n.d.). DBT Self Help. Retrieved March 16, 2023, from https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/
Frazier, S. N., & Vela, J. (2014). Dialectical behavior therapy for the treatment of anger and aggressive behavior: A review. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 19(2), 156-163. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2014.02.001
Linehan, M. M.(2015) DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). New York, NY, US: Guilford Press.
McKay, M., Wood, J. C., & Brantley, J. (2019). The dialectical behavior therapy skills workbook: Practical DBT exercises for learning mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. New Harbinger.
