How many times have you been told to live authentically?
From social media, to commercials, to advice from a friend or family member, the idea of authenticity seems to be everywhere. But an explanation of what this actually means, or how to be authentic, is oddly absent. Many people interpret this demand as saying whatever is on their mind and doing whatever feels best in the moment, with complete disregard for others’ thoughts and feelings. However, after trying this way of relating to themselves and others for a short while, many find it unsatisfying and limiting, causing more conflict and uncertainty than before. As a result, we are left wondering what authenticity means or – even worse – wondering whether we are “fake” and not living authentically.
Recently, while exploring this topic, I stumbled upon a helpful, practical framework for understanding authenticity in vocational psychology. Vocational psychology is primarily concerned with how people relate to their work, but it also offers useful insights into identity and what it means to be authentic. Vocational psychologist John Holland defined identity as “a clear and stable picture of one’s goals, interests, and talents.” Of course, identity is much more complex than these three categories, and I will propose adding one more in a moment. But for now, consider the practical use this model of identity provides.
Goals signal what we desire for the future. They speak to what we want and what kind of life we view as admirable. What do you want? Take a minute and notice the images and feelings that arise when you imagine what you want your future to look like. This is a vulnerable and important aspect of who you are. Goals signal more than just desire, however. They also hint at our values.
Values are the other category I think is worth adding when we try to understand ourselves. Our values show what matters to us and what we care about. We can explore if our goals are compatible with our values and whether our actions align with our values and goals. With these questions, we start to get a better idea of what it means to live authentically.
Holland also points to interest and talent. Interest signals what you enjoy. Your interests are things that capture your attention and evoke curiosity and pleasure. When we do things we’re interested in, we often walk away feeling a sense of satisfaction and perhaps even more energized after the activity than before we started. Staying in touch with what we enjoy, and being honest about it, is crucial to understanding our identity.
Finally, Holland speaks to talent. Each person has a set of skills they’re good at. However, we may not always be aware of what skills we possess, and we may also want to learn new ones. This is useful information worth exploring as we come to better understand ourselves.
So, what does authentic living mean? A pragmatic definition is being clear about and living in alignment with your desires, values, enjoyment, and skills. If these are misaligned or in conflict, we may feel inauthentic and unsatisfied with our lives. But when these are aligned, we often feel a deep sense of meaning and satisfaction in our work and relationships. If this topic interests you, I would love to explore who you are and help you connect with the life you want to live.
Resources
Holland, J. L. (1997). Making vocational choices: A theory of vocational personalities and work environments (3rd ed.). Odessa, FL: Psychological Assessment Resources.
