What is Bisexuality?
Bisexuality is often understood as an attraction to both men and women. The true definition, however, is “a person who feels romantic, emotional, or sexual attraction to more than one gender.” More than one gender encompasses all gender presentations, with many bisexual people experiencing attraction to trans people, non-binary individuals, and people outside of the gender binary. Being bisexual does not mean one experiences equal attraction to different genders; often it is a spectrum. Bisexual+ (or bi+) is an inclusive umbrella term for other identities that experience attraction to more than one gender, including pansexual, omnisexual, queer, polysexual, and more.
What is Bi-Erasure and Biphobia?
Bi-erasure is “the tendency to ignore, remove, deny, or re-explain evidence of bisexuality in history, media, and daily life”. This is often represented by binary assumptions (assuming someone is either gay or straight), or assuming someone’s sexuality based on the gender of their partner. Biphobia is the “aversion, prejudice, fear, or hatred directed against people who are attracted to more than one gender”. Bisexual people experience both bi-erasure and biphobia in both heterosexual and LGBTQIA+ spaces.
Although bisexuality in itself is not a mental health issue, ongoing experiences of stigma and invalidation can harm mental health. Every September is Bisexuality Visibility Month (also known as Bisexual Awareness Month), celebrating bisexual, pansexual, and bi+ communities to challenge bi-erasure. For many bisexual people, they not only face navigating their own identity, but also a world that questions whether that identity is even real.
Common Forms of Bi-Erasure and Biphobia
It is common for bisexual people to experience or hear the following from both straight and gay people:
- “You’re just confused.”
- “You’re really gay/straight.”
- Assuming someone’s sexual orientation based on their current partner(s).
- Treating bisexuality as a phase, or a stepping stone to other LGBTQIA+ identities.
- Stereotypes that bisexual people are “greedy,” “promiscuous,” or unable to be monogamous.
- Assuming bisexual people experience equal acceptance within LGBTQ+ communities.
- Lack of bisexual representation in media, healthcare, and mental health settings.
Bi-erasure can appear as assumptions, jokes, silence, or repeated questioning of someone’s identity. It is not always overt hostility.
How Bi-Erasure and Biphobia Can Affect Mental Health
Bisexual people can experience the impacts of minority stress (stigma and discrimination can create chronic stress that affects mental health over time). According to a study from York University and ICES, women who identify as bisexual were more than three times more likely to attempt suicide compared to heterosexual women. The Bisexual Resource Center (BRC) found that around 40 percent of bisexual individuals have thought about or tried taking their own lives, in contrast to just over 25 percent of gay men and lesbians. According to HRC’s report on Health Disparities Among Bisexual People, bisexual adults experience twice the rate of depression and have higher instances of binge drinking compared to heterosexual adults.
These statistics point to the impacts of isolation and loneliness, or shame and internalized negative beliefs about bisexuality. Bisexual people can often experience anxiety related to coming out and a fear of rejection. Continuous stress from having to repeatedly explain or defend one’s identity can result in decreased self-esteem over time.
What Allies Can Do
Allies can have a positive effect on the mental health of their bisexual friends and family members.
Some simple things allies can do include:
- Believe the people in your life if they say that they are bisexual.
- Refrain from making judgments based on the gender of someone’s partner(s).
- Confront stereotypes and humor related to bisexuality.
- Incorporate bisexuality into LGBTQ+ education and representation.
- Do not ask or expect anyone to validate their identity
- Foster environments where people don’t need to constantly clarify or justify who they are.
The Role of Mental Health Providers
Bisexual people may experience reluctance to seek mental health care due to fear of being misunderstood or judged. If you are in this community, look for a therapist who can create an affirming space for you. This could look like the use of inclusive and non-assumptive language. Your therapist should validate your bisexuality as a legitimate identity and recognize the impact of biphobia and bi-erasure. Additionally, your bisexuality should never be treated as a problem.
Creating Space for Bisexual Identities
Bisexuality does not need to be explained, justified, or proven to anyone for it to be a valid identity. Bisexual people experience stigma every day from both the queer and straight communities. It is more important than ever to recognize the positive mental health impact that visibility, affirmation, and belonging can have on bisexual people. People who identify as bisexual deserve to be recognized, respected, and affirmed by the people in their lives. Happy Bisexuality Visibility Month to all my fellow bisexuals!
