What is Inner Child Work

Inner Child Work has received a lot of media attention in recent years, and there have been countless YouTube and Tik Tok videos uploaded about the practice. So, what is inner child work?

The term “inner child” refers to the thought patterns, feelings, hopes, and fears your childhood self held but remain present in adulthood. As an adult, you still carry parts of your childhood with you, whether they’re continued creative imagination or emotional wounds from experiences during that time in your life. Inner child work is finding ways to access that part of you and reconnect with it to incorporate it into your healing and self-discovery journey. As we grow into adulthood, each stage we move through (childhood, adolescence, young adulthood) sticks with us in some way. To know and accept yourself as you are today means knowing and accepting each age or version that has passed.

How inner child work can serve you

If you’ve found yourself stuck in feelings, thoughts, or relationship patterns that no longer serve you, inner child work may be beneficial. While inner child work can bring a lot of joy and creative energy back into your life, it may also bring up difficult memories and emotions. This technique is most often used with those who need healing and reconciliation for adverse childhood experiences and traumas. It validates the experiences you faced and the ways you protected yourself later on. Accessing your inner child can help you to make sense of the ways you deal with emotions or engage in relationships today as an adult. It also allows you to find accessible ways to hold space and process all the emotions you experience — not just the “happy” ones — and break unhealthy patterns.

As a therapist, I appreciate inner child work for a few reasons. This work not only allows us to address and examine our pasts, but also see how our past may still be impacting our behaviors and thoughts today. It also allows us to see ourselves as a whole person, shaped by the experiences we’ve had over our lifespan. I also really enjoy the creative and imaginative aspect of this work. Sometimes the best way to re-charge is by allowing our creativity to flow.

Ways to Access your Inner Child

This work is not always easy, and it’s most successful when done with a trusted therapist. To start, here are a few ways you can incorporate this work into your own healing practices.

1.) Write a letter to or from your childhood self

We’re often our own harshest critics, but what do you think the 5, 7, or 10 year old you would think of all that you’ve accomplished? Taking a step back to see how much you’ve experienced since childhood (and how far you’ve come) can be helpful in accessing gratitude and appreciation for oneself.

If you find yourself struggling to break the habit of negative self-talk, consider writing your younger self a letter. What does the younger you need to hear from the present you? What validation can you offer yourself to combat that negative self-talk?

2.) Meditation/Visualization

If you enjoy meditation and visualization practices, I invite you to welcome your inner child into that space. While that may sound abstract, it helps to visualize yourself as a child or have a picture of your younger self. Try repeating a self-love mantra to the younger version of yourself, like: “You are loved. You are enough. You are healing and growing each day.” Try imagining the present you giving a hug to your childhood self.

3.) Engage in a creative activity

Allowing your creative side to flow without any expectations is a great way to get in touch with your inner child! Whether it’s painting, coloring, or breaking out the old sidewalk chalk, finding some time to get away from all the adult responsibilities you hold to just allow yourself to create can be incredibly beneficial for your emotional well-being.

Sources:

Almeida-Farrell, G. (2022, October 25). What is Inner child work?. Holistic Wellness Practice. https://www.holisticwellnesspractice.com/hwp-blog/2022/10/25/what-is-inner-child-work

Davis, S. (2020, July 20). Healing trauma through inner child work. CPTSDfoundationorg. https://cptsdfoundation.org/2020/07/20/healing-trauma-through-inner-child-work/

Dodson, J. (Ed.). (2023, June 5). Inner child: Healing your inner child. BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/inner-child-what-is-it-what-happened-to-it-and-how-can-i-fix-it/

Sjöblom, M., Öhrling, K., Prellwitz, M., & Kostenius, C. (2016, June 16). Health throughout the lifespan: The phenomenon of the inner child reflected in events during childhood experienced by older persons. International journal of qualitative studies on health and well-being. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4912602/

Sutton, J. (2023, April 26). Inner child healing: 35 practical tools for growing beyond your past. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/inner-child-healing/

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a broad term that encompasses many different techniques and approaches. At its base, it encourages you to become aware of your internal and external world in the present moment (Sutton, 2019). This could come through becoming aware of your breath, but it could also be eating food slowly, movement practices like yoga, or simply doing the dishes. I first really delved into mindfulness in the middle of a breakup with my long-term boyfriend. I found the focus on the here-and-now a necessary component of keeping myself together when it felt like everything was falling apart. An essential feature of mindfulness is non-judgement as you learn to accept what’s happening (Sutton, 2019). For me, this meant being kind to myself when I noticed sadness or loneliness. Along these lines, and contrary to many popular notions, mindfulness does not necessarily lead to relaxation. Some techniques prompt responses that cultivate relaxation, but it’s just as possible that becoming mindful of your inner world will reveal heartbreak, excitement, or anger. In a world filled with distraction, the attraction to mindfulness practices has grown drastically. I noticed after several months of practice that mindfulness opened up a childlike wonder I hadn’t experienced in years. All of a sudden, I was noticing trees while walking my dog that I had passed for years and never really seen. But I was also discovering hidden realms of emotions I was sure weren’t there previously. That’s the thing about mindfulness: it’s all about discovery, and not everything that we find is pleasant. Trauma is one thing that may come to the surface as you start to inquire about your experience.

What is trauma?

Trauma is an event (or series of events) that overwhelms the nervous system and body. Importantly, events that are traumatic to one person may not be for another. Sometimes a person can experience dissociation because of trauma – essentially becoming separated from the ability to perceive their body. This can be an adaptive response (Levine, 2010). The wisdom of the body is saying, “I don’t know how to integrate this experience, so I’m not going to.” However, this adaptive response has a cost, and becomes maladaptive if the person does not learn how to integrate their experiences and trust in a certain amount of safety. Symptoms such as anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, detachment, overly rigid behaviors, impulsivity, or aggression could all be ongoing signs that indicate something is not quite right (DSM, 2013).

How do therapists use mindfulness in a trauma-informed way?

When someone is emotionally ready and has supportive structures in their life, the use of mindfulness can be a gateway to healing trauma. Mindfulness strategies can be used to help integrate experiences of trauma by working directly with whatever sensations are coming up. Cultivating awareness in the moment is the opposite of dissociation.

Mindfulness should be introduced slowly because the body has dissociated for a reason, and coming back too quickly could be too much. As the body reveals what’s been stored, it can be very overwhelming and potentially retraumatizing. Your rational mind may know it is 2023 and you are at home on your couch, but your body may be giving you signals that the traumatic event is happening right now. This is why it is crucial to have the support of a trained therapist who can guide you and help notice when you may need more support. Caution, slowness, trust, and the ability to ground are all very key when treading these waters.

If you feel that you may be ready to work through trauma and are interested in the use of mindfulness, please reach out to our team to schedule an appointment.

Sources:

Levine, P. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

Sutton, J. (2019, April 9). What Is Mindfulness? Definition, Benefits & Psychology. Positive Psychology. https://positivepsychology.com/what-is-mindfulness/

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596