In the last couple of years, research into the psychological benefits of nature has exploded and found that spending time among the trees can reduce stress, increase creativity and make us feel happier.  Unfortunately, the vast majority of us live in urban areas and spend most of our time in our offices, homes, and surrounded by concrete roads and buildings.  However, we can create our own mini greenspaces and bring those benefits to us with the use of a couple of houseplants. They do wonders for our mental and physical health. Here’s why you should consider bringing a bit of greenery into your home. 

 Reduced Stress 

Recent studies have shown that nature, and plants in particular, help us to feel relaxed and relieve stress.  Evidence has found that spending time around plants actually physically lowers the amount of stress that your body is carrying by lowering your blood pressure and suppressing sympathetic (arousal) nervous system activity.  These physiological responses are correlated to psychological feelings of decreased anxiety, and increased feelings of calmness and relaxation.  Additionally, green is considered to be the most soothing color, and found abundantly on almost any plant.  

Houseplants give you a slice of nature indoors. Especially if you live in a city with limited green spaces, having some plants at home can make a huge difference. Research has found that even small interactions (one or two small plants or as little as 20 minutes) with nature can boost your mood and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety . 

 Increased Dopamine 

Most of us have heard of dopamine, the neurotransmitter in our brain that’s often referred to as the “feel good chemical”.  While dopamine is involved in a number of brain functions, it can very much affect our mental health. In particular, dopamine is responsible for our feeling of reward.  Dopamine gets triggered by a substance or behavior, and the release of this chemical makes us feel good and more likely to repeat that behavior.   

Because plants are living things, when we take care of them we can actual see our efforts paying off as the plant grows.  This can also increase our levels of dopamine which helps us to experience positive emotions, and provides a sense of accomplishment or fulfillment.  

Increased Mindfulness       

Houseplants need regular care and attention, which can give you an easy way to practice mindfulness without even thinking about it too much. Simple tasks like watering, pruning, and repotting your plants help you stay present and focused on the moment. These small acts of care can be meditative, helping you to calm your mind and increase your ability to live mindfully over time, which is correlated to increased feelings of happiness and well-being. 

Caring for plants can also put you in a state of flow, where you become fully absorbed in what you’re doing. This flow state is excellent for your mental health, promoting concentration and decreasing rumination. 

Life Lessons to be Learned from Plants 

Plants, like all living things, have their struggles. They might deal with pests, diseases, or changes in their environment, mirroring the ups and downs of life.  Noticing your plant has a problem can engage you both in learning something new and increasing your problem solving abilities by trying to learn about the plant and what change it may need to be healthier.  

Additionally, a houseplant that has gone through a little bit of struggle can help show us how to accept imperfections, about the plant, ourselves, or life. Through this acceptance we can also see from our plants how to be resilient, and keep growing even when things aren’t exactly the way we want them to be.  Seeing your plants overcome challenges can inspire you to do the same, reminding you that growth often comes through overcoming obstacles. 

Whether you’re a full-time working parent, an overloaded student, or simply working on defining the next chapter of your life, finding intentional time to be outside between daily events can prove challenging. In the US, the average person spends 87% of their time in enclosed buildings and another 6% in vehicles, leaving a measly 7% of outdoors time (Student Conservation Association, 2017). 7% of our outdoors time is unfortunately mostly composed of short-lived transitions between vehicles and buildings. Furthermore, following the COVID-19 pandemic, many once office-based workers have transitioned into remote positions; increasing the percentage of indoor time as travel to-and-from work decreases. Currently, 66% of Americans work from home at least part-time, and it’s projected that by the year 2025, 36.2 million Americans will be working remotely full-time (Flynn,2023). With this in mind, how do we fit in time to be outdoors with such busy schedules? Why even bother?

Give Yourself a Boost

If you feel unfocused, fatigued, or stuck, it may stem from a lack of movement and intentional time outside! Spending time outside daily improves our body and mind’s stress recovery, and refreshes us so we may have longer attention spans (Avitt, 2021). You can start improving your wellbeing without outdoors time at any point, however, it has been found that the earlier you begin getting yourself outside the better. Researchers in Denmark conducted a study on 900,000 children ranging from birth to the age of 10 years old. After 18 years of conducting this study, the researchers found that children who were less exposed to time outside in green spaces were 55% more likely to develop mental health strife in adulthood than those who grew up frequently spending time outdoors (Weir, 2020).

Relational Improvement

Spending times outdoors also has the power to better our relationships. Spending time outdoors has been correlated with increased empathy and bonding with others. In a study where green initiatives were implemented in neighborhoods, the residents reported not only having a 41% decrease in depression, but a change in interactions with their neighbors as well (Avitt, 2021). The residents stated there was an increase in positive interactions between them and their neighbors as compared to their interactions prior to the green initiative. Wilderness couple’s therapist Jeff Adorador has found that spending routine time outside with your significant other can prompt stronger cooperation, intimacy and communication within your relationship ( Kwak-Hefferan, 2023).

Furthermore, the outdoors can also improve connectivity for those who are sometimes overstimulated by the task of connecting with other people. Environmental psychologist Matthew White, in a study of people who experience social anxiety, found that one’s desire to connect could be quelled by spending time outdoors (Wier, 2020). White explained, “There are people who don’t necessarily want to spend their time with others, but they feel connected to the natural environment, and that can enhance their well-being.”

How and Where

As psychologists, social workers, environmentalists, and sociologist continue to study the correlation between human health and the outdoors, there’s no set-in-stone recommendation on how often one needs to be outside to reap wholistic benefits to their health and wellbeing. While experts have found the greener (fauna and flora) and bluer (marine spaces) spaces are the higher quality environments for mental restoration (Wier,2020), it has also been proven that increasing your outdoor time, in even in urban spaces, brings more mental stability (Student Conservation Association, 2017). People who increased their time outside by 2 hours a week, whether consecutively or spread out, felt an increase in wellness and motivation (Avitt,2021). Begin forming the habit of being outside by scheduling just 20 minutes every day. Other ways to motivate yourself to get outside hours include: joining a hiking group, designing a more thorough walking schedule for you and your furry friends, signing up for a community gardening project, going on walking dates with friends, planning date nights as a bike ride to a restaurant nearby, or planning some of your weekend meals as picnics!

References

Avitt, A. (2021, March 24). The wellness benefits of the great outdoors. US Forest Service. https://www.fs.usda.gov/features/wellness-benefits-great-outdoors#:~:text=There%20are%20many%20mental%20wellness.

Kwak-Hefferan, E. (2023, April 6). How Time in Nature Can Improve Your Relationship. Outside Online. https://www.outsideonline.com/health/wellness/nature-time-relationship/.

Student Conservation Association. (2017, December 11). How Going Outside Improves Our Mood and Health Even in Winter. Student Conservation Association. https://www.thesca.org/connect/blog/how-going-outside-improves-our-mood-and-health-even-winter/?gclid=CjwKCAjw-b-kBhB-EiwA4fvKrCwFZ22WaNodVUmcyJMrWsNXwWE4YSW2jOzgMAx1o6cX9CaYURKhdRoCBE4QAvD_BwE.

Weir, K. (2020, April 1). Nurtured by nature. American Psychological Association, 51(3). https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature.

In my last blog post, I shared an overview of 7 Tips to Move Towards Well-Being, that work together in a holistic, connected way to create a healthy, optimized life. I began my work within each dimension hoping to feel better and more balanced, though I sometimes found myself overwhelmed by the information. I continued reading and researching so I could better understand each dimension. In this blog post you’ll find a short summary of the 8 Dimensions of Wellness. As you read, reflect on which dimensions feel like strengths and which areas could be improved. To help you with this, I have provided a link to an 8 Dimensions of Wellness assessment in the references below.

People often think about wellness in terms of physical health, nutrition, exercise, and weight management, but it’s so much more than that. Wellness is an integration of physical, mental, and spiritual well-being that fuels the body, engages the mind, and nurtures the spirit. Wellness is about maintaining mental and physical fitness and having enough energy to meet your occupational and personal commitments. The Global Wellness Institute (n.d.) describes it as “the active pursuit of activities, choices, and lifestyles that lead to a state of holistic health.” By increasing your understanding of, reflecting on, and nurturing each of these dimensions, you can achieve growth and a higher quality of life.

Like any system where multiple components work together, attending to each of the dimensions will result in overall health and a balance in life, but often one or more dimensions will fall out of balance. We have all experienced a financial setback causing emotional stress or forcing a change to our environment, or we have experienced a loss of a loved one or a job impacting our emotional, financial, intellectual and/or social wellness. So many events, outside of our control, can take life out of balance.

Wellness involves a sense of empowerment. Every day represents a new set of choices. Remember, achieving Wellness is an ongoing journey rather than a destination. By making small intentional choices in each dimension, we can strive for a harmonious life that promotes physical vitality, emotional resilience, intellectual growth, and a deep sense of fulfillment. In which dimensions did you find strengths? Which dimensions seem “okay?” And which dimensions can use some focus?

References:

Personal Assessment: 8 Dimensions of Wellness 

What is Wellness? Global Wellness Institute. (2021, September 3). https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/what-is-wellness/ 

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). (2016, April 28). The Eight Dimensions of Wellness. Retrieved from http://www.samhsa.gov/wellness-initiative/eight-dimensions-wellness 

Stoewen D. L. (2017). Dimensions of wellness: Change your habits, change your life. The Canadian veterinary journal = La revue veterinaire canadienne, 58(8), 861–862. 

Talking about sex can be hard, even in the best of circumstances. It’s really quite normal to have concerns about your sexuality given the generally sex-negative culture we live in. Even in a profession as intimate as therapy, we still cordon sex off and make it a specialty (sex therapy) despite the drastic importance sex has on most people’s lives. However, one of the values of working with a therapist well-versed and comfortable discussing sexual issues is that it creates space and the opportunity for you to consider possibilities that you might not have considered in the past. Further, sex really can’t be separated from our identities, such as gender, sexual orientation, race, class, religious upbringing, and others. All different parts of ourselves come into the room when we want to be intimate, and that’s why it can be valuable to bring sexuality concerns to a therapist.

In my experience, the most important part of my journey was connecting to my sexuality in a space that was not inherently sexual. For many, including myself, we only really think about sex in the context of a partner(s), rather than taking time to explore outside of the mix of relational challenges. Exploring who I was within a container that included education, unconditional support, and nonjudgement was what I needed to begin letting go of unhelpful narratives and behaviors.

There’s so much bound up in our ideas and experiences of sex, but I once heard that sex is how adults play. If we think about sex from the perspective of play, it becomes clear that one of the first foundations we must introduce is safety. Do you have trouble finding safety, trust, and relaxation in intimate settings? This may be for any number of reasons, from sexual assault to feelings of shame and unworthiness. Maybe you’re concerned that your desires fall outside of “normal,” or you want to change your relationship style beyond monogamy. Maybe you’re not interested in sex. Perhaps you’re worried it has become an addiction. Or maybe your body isn’t cooperating. Perhaps sex is painful, and you don’t know why, or you can’t “perform” like you think you should. Maybe you and your partner don’t seem to match up sexually.

Personal experience has shown me that any one of these questions leads to a rabbit hole of indecision and shame. When sex isn’t working, for whatever reason, it creates or compounds feelings of something being wrong with you. It can be very tempting to ignore signs that you’re uncomfortable, unfulfilled, or in distress. Kinks, non-hetero orientation, and non-monogamy relationship configurations are all ways of being that deviate from the rest of society, and this can create distress. Unfortunately, it’s also quite common to seek support for sexual trauma and recovery. If nothing else, know that these concerns and issues are common and that there are approaches that can help.

In therapy, you can work on skills such as communication and boundaries. You can explore your past to understand more about your sexual desires. Learning from a professional in an open and accepting space is sometimes exactly what’s needed. Mindfulness is another avenue to explore sexuality. For all the talk these days about the importance of embodiment, having sex might be the place where you most want to be aware of the sensations you are experiencing. In my experience, women in particular are likely to get caught in a cycle of performance that distances them from their own pleasure. It can be much easier to follow a script that has worked in the past rather than taking a risk to interrupt patterns. Getting clear on what your body is saying can be the first step to unpacking what may be not quite flowing.

Pleasure is the measure. Your sex life doesn’t need to pass any kind of test. If everyone involved is enjoying themselves, then that is enough. There is a lot of information that can help you orient and understand that you’re not alone, but at the end of the day the most important thing is that you feel connected to your own truth.

What is Inner Child Work

Inner Child Work has received a lot of media attention in recent years, and there have been countless YouTube and Tik Tok videos uploaded about the practice. So, what is inner child work?

The term “inner child” refers to the thought patterns, feelings, hopes, and fears your childhood self held but remain present in adulthood. As an adult, you still carry parts of your childhood with you, whether they’re continued creative imagination or emotional wounds from experiences during that time in your life. Inner child work is finding ways to access that part of you and reconnect with it to incorporate it into your healing and self-discovery journey. As we grow into adulthood, each stage we move through (childhood, adolescence, young adulthood) sticks with us in some way. To know and accept yourself as you are today means knowing and accepting each age or version that has passed.

How inner child work can serve you

If you’ve found yourself stuck in feelings, thoughts, or relationship patterns that no longer serve you, inner child work may be beneficial. While inner child work can bring a lot of joy and creative energy back into your life, it may also bring up difficult memories and emotions. This technique is most often used with those who need healing and reconciliation for adverse childhood experiences and traumas. It validates the experiences you faced and the ways you protected yourself later on. Accessing your inner child can help you to make sense of the ways you deal with emotions or engage in relationships today as an adult. It also allows you to find accessible ways to hold space and process all the emotions you experience — not just the “happy” ones — and break unhealthy patterns.

As a therapist, I appreciate inner child work for a few reasons. This work not only allows us to address and examine our pasts, but also see how our past may still be impacting our behaviors and thoughts today. It also allows us to see ourselves as a whole person, shaped by the experiences we’ve had over our lifespan. I also really enjoy the creative and imaginative aspect of this work. Sometimes the best way to re-charge is by allowing our creativity to flow.

Ways to Access your Inner Child

This work is not always easy, and it’s most successful when done with a trusted therapist. To start, here are a few ways you can incorporate this work into your own healing practices.

1.) Write a letter to or from your childhood self

We’re often our own harshest critics, but what do you think the 5, 7, or 10 year old you would think of all that you’ve accomplished? Taking a step back to see how much you’ve experienced since childhood (and how far you’ve come) can be helpful in accessing gratitude and appreciation for oneself.

If you find yourself struggling to break the habit of negative self-talk, consider writing your younger self a letter. What does the younger you need to hear from the present you? What validation can you offer yourself to combat that negative self-talk?

2.) Meditation/Visualization

If you enjoy meditation and visualization practices, I invite you to welcome your inner child into that space. While that may sound abstract, it helps to visualize yourself as a child or have a picture of your younger self. Try repeating a self-love mantra to the younger version of yourself, like: “You are loved. You are enough. You are healing and growing each day.” Try imagining the present you giving a hug to your childhood self.

3.) Engage in a creative activity

Allowing your creative side to flow without any expectations is a great way to get in touch with your inner child! Whether it’s painting, coloring, or breaking out the old sidewalk chalk, finding some time to get away from all the adult responsibilities you hold to just allow yourself to create can be incredibly beneficial for your emotional well-being.

Sources:

Almeida-Farrell, G. (2022, October 25). What is Inner child work?. Holistic Wellness Practice. https://www.holisticwellnesspractice.com/hwp-blog/2022/10/25/what-is-inner-child-work

Davis, S. (2020, July 20). Healing trauma through inner child work. CPTSDfoundationorg. https://cptsdfoundation.org/2020/07/20/healing-trauma-through-inner-child-work/

Dodson, J. (Ed.). (2023, June 5). Inner child: Healing your inner child. BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/inner-child-what-is-it-what-happened-to-it-and-how-can-i-fix-it/

Sjöblom, M., Öhrling, K., Prellwitz, M., & Kostenius, C. (2016, June 16). Health throughout the lifespan: The phenomenon of the inner child reflected in events during childhood experienced by older persons. International journal of qualitative studies on health and well-being. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4912602/

Sutton, J. (2023, April 26). Inner child healing: 35 practical tools for growing beyond your past. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/inner-child-healing/

It’s no surprise that the average person gets a lot of screen time each day. According to the Brussel Times, smart phone users tap or swipe on their phones up to 2,617 times every 24 hours (2022). As remote work becomes more common and digitized, the total amount of time our eyes are on a screen has also increased, making blue-light glasses an essential accessory for many. The American Psychological Association found that, following changes made in the workplace and across society in general because of the COVID-19 pandemic, people now get an average of 10 hours of screen time every day (2022). Things we once wrote down or read on paper are going digital too, like journals, drawings, books, mindfulness tools, homework, and menus. With social media platforms and other apps consuming so much of our attention these days, the content we’re choosing to consume in our free time is essential to our mental stability.

Negative Impacts

Do you find yourself often scrolling mindlessly through your phone and, regardless of how bored you are, you keep scrolling anyway? Do you catch yourself watching videos for hours and becoming frustrated when you realize just how much time you just spent doing so? Do you scroll aimlessly, even when you’re out socializing with other people? We often struggle to detach from our comfort objects – in this case, our smart phones – even when they’re not enriching our experience or making us any happier. McLean Hospital (2023) explains that our dependency on social media platforms has been correlated with a variety of mental health issues and physical ailments, including:

1. Depression

2. Anxiety

3. Imposter syndrome

4. Disrupted sleep cycles

5. Headaches

6. Nausea

7. Muscle tension

8. Tremors

The root of these social-media related ailments is negative content (Morrison, 2020) and the feelings that come from watching others live a perceived good or perfect lifestyle (Kristenson, 2023). As a society, our desire for happiness has us caught in a trap. We can’t help but compare our own lives to the lives of those we follow online, and then may find ours lacking. Furthermore, it can prove detrimental when our posts get less attention than posts from people we follow, or if our posts receive judgmental comments. With so many negatives, why would we keep these platforms around?

Ways to Improve What We Consume

Although media gets a bad rap these days, our cell phones still have so many benefits! Never have we been able to connect so quickly, globally, or frequently as we do today. Staying in touch with friends and family, near and far, and being able to keep up with their achievements in real time gives us a serotonin boost (Morrison, 2020). As the world begins to take mental health issues more seriously, an explosion of mindfulness, positivity, wellness, and body-positive social media accounts has made healthy content

more readily available than ever before. So how does one keep the web in their life while staying healthy?

1. Follow more positive content! Believe me, it’s out there. For example, if you struggle with body positivity because the bodies you see on your feed cause you internal distress, follow accounts that empower bodies like your own!

2. Follow a positive affirmations feed or download an affirmations app. With as many hours as you spend on your phone each day, having positive reminders pop up during your scroll time will feed you daily encouragement and empowerment.

3. Block accounts that leave unfriendly comments. Your media platform should be a place to share your life with those who empower your uniqueness or celebrate your expression of self. You don’t need to grant access to others if they’re just going to bring negativity to your life.

4. Follow more accounts with nature present in the content. Studies have shown that watching videos of the outdoors grows and refocuses your mind in a ways that’s similar to being outdoors (Avitt,2021)! So if you’re stuck inside on a cold day or running from class to class, following some nature content could serve as a reset in your day.

It can take time, but intentionally developing and altering your media accounts and apps can reverberate positivity in one’s life. As algorithms work, the more of something you follow the more of that kind of content you’ll see in your feed. Removing superficiality and negativity from your daily view is something we can never completely wipe out, but we have the power to limit and force it into the backseat of our accounts.

References

Avitt, A. (2021, March 24). The wellness benefits of the great outdoors. US Forest Service. https://www.fs.usda.gov/features/wellness-benefits-great-outdoors#:~:text=There%20are%20many%20mental%20wellness.

The Brussels Times. (2022, June 3). People touch their smartphone over 2,600 times a day, research shows. Www.brusselstimes.com. https://www.brusselstimes.com/232851/people-touch-their-smartphone-over-2600-times-a-day-research-shows.

Kristenson, S. (2021, October 19). Should You Fake Happiness on Social Media? Our Answer. Happier Human. https://www.happierhuman.com/fake-happiness-social-media/.

McLean Hospital. (2023, January 18). The Social Dilemma: Social Media and Your Mental Health. Www.mcleanhospital.org; McLean Hospital. https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/it-or-not-social-medias-affecting-your-mental-health.

Morrison, G. (2020, January 15). How to Turn Depressing Social Media Into a Positive Influence. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/15/smarter-living/how-to-fix-social-facebook-instagram-twitter.html.

Westerners often don’t trust intuition let alone know how to access it. Intuition is a feeling rather than a thought process, and in western culture we are typically conditioned to have clear logical reasons for our actions. But we’re faced with countless choices over the course of a day, week, or year. Working with your intuition and including the subconscious processes that are constantly occurring is a great way to build connection and trust in yourself. When I first learned how to use my intuition, I felt freer to experiment. I realized that even with all the logic in the world, there’s no way to truly be certain. Working directly with my felt experiences added an enjoyable flow to my day – if there’s no right answer, I might as well enjoy the ride.

Connecting with your intuition means connecting to your body and unconscious. When I use the word intuition, I mean the felt sense of, “this is the way I want to move forward.” I don’t think of intuition as separate from logic, but rather a parallel process alongside it. I also don’t think of intuition as separate from feelings, as feelings are a wide range of sensations that aren’t all intuition. Intuition is the sum of all the inputs and information that allow me to come to a conclusion about what I want to do. Defined this way, every decision I make is based on intuition.

When I plan my day, I certainly consider the impact of traffic on my ability to get somewhere. That thought might fall more under logic, but I also pay attention to other signals. I may be passing near a store where I need to do an errand, but if I feel a sense of tiredness thinking about stopping, and it’s not urgent, I may decide to complete the errand another time. Logically, it may have made sense to stop, but following my intuition led me to a different conclusion.

Yet intuition is not always so simple to discern. If I feel dread about making a dentist appointment, that might not be my intuition. That might be fear, or memories of bad experiences. This is why intuition is tricky; we need to be familiar with ourselves in a way that we haven’t been taught to be.

So how do we become more familiar with our intuition? First, we must pay attention. You don’t need to change what you’re doing, just watch what’s already happening. How are you currently making decisions? What’s going on in your body before, during, and after? In addition to just noticing, you can take deliberate time to become familiar with yourself, like setting aside time to meditate or do yoga. In Untamed, Glennon Doyle (2020) describes her process of contacting what she calls “the knowing” – “Breathe, turn inward, sink. Feel around for the knowing. Do the next thing it nudges you toward. Let it stand (don’t explain).” (61).

Therapy can be one of the first places where you have the opportunity to slow down and wonder about what might be going on for you. Especially for larger decisions, this process can be difficult, uncomfortable, and discouraging, so it’s helpful to have a place where you can review and get support. Working with a therapist to break down why slowing down, noticing, or being in your body is difficult might also be the first step towards contacting your intuition.

At the end of the day, the point is not to maximize your correct intuitions — as convenient and wonderful as that would be. The point is to acknowledge that you are always taking in large amounts of information, and your unconscious is weighing in as well. Experimenting with listening to the thins your body is telling you is the first step. Maybe you don’t go to the dentist, and a year later a terrible pain in your tooth sends you in, leading you to realize that preventative care would have been preferable. Yes, that may not be “ideal,” but you’ve just acquired some valuable information about yourself. I would bet money that over time you would be able to discern the difference between “dentist dread” and “not my path dread.”

I know a horse trainer who says, “Any time the horse doesn’t do want you want, great, that’s information.” We are so caught up in thinking that we should be following a linear path to some specific place that sometimes we forget that just about all we have in this life is the journey. Rather than trying to logically, rationally do the “right” thing, can we learn to play with all of the information we are receiving. Giving attention to our bodies’ signals, even if we don’t follow them, pays enormous dividends over time.

References

Doyle, G. (2020). Untamed. The Dial Press.

In the challenging and dynamic world of education, students often face a multitude of pressures, ranging from academic performance to social interactions and personal development. It is crucial to learn tools and strategies that foster resilience, confidence, and a positive mindset. One such powerful tool is the practice of daily affirmations.

I am courageous

I am where I need to be right now

I am grateful for my friends and family

I am capable of graduating and attaining my dream job

I can fight through this

Above are just a few affirmations I use daily that serve as powerful reminders of my capabilities.They have profoundly impacted my self-confidence, motivation, goal achievement, personal growth, and emotional well-being. In the past, I often found myself battling inner demons in my head, which dragged me down and created barriers to accomplishing my goals. When the idea of pursuing my MSW (Master of Social Work) first crossed my mind, the negative thought processes immediately hindered me from even considering it. “I’ll never get into the Master’s program,” or, “I’m not smart enough to pass the classes” were just some of the thoughts that plagued my mind for years. How could I allow these destructive voices in my head to thwart my dreams?

Enough was enough. I realized that I needed to take charge of my life and regain control of my inner narrative. That’s when I learned to dive deeper into the power of positive self-talk and decided to implement it into my daily routine by utilizing the simple yet impactful technique of placing post-it notes with affirming words all around my space. I wanted to challenge and

override the negative thoughts that had held me back for far too long. And to my surprise, the impact was profound.

Not only did these daily affirmations help to reframe my mindset and replace self-doubt with self-belief, but they also provided constant reminders of my capabilities and potential. Affirmations like “I am worthy of pursuing my dreams,” “I am intelligent and capable of academic success,” or “I am capable of balancing multiple responsibilities effectively” became my guiding mantras.

Of course, the support I received from my family, friends, and colleagues also played a significant role in influencing my decision to go back to school. However, I cannot stress enough the power that something as simple as positive self-talk, manifested through post-it notes, had on my journey. These affirmations became daily anchors that kept me grounded and propelled me forward, reminding me of my true potential and helping me overcome the self-imposed barriers that once held me back.

As I look back, I am grateful for the shift in my mindset and the courage it took to challenge those negative voices. By embracing the practice of daily affirmations and surrounding myself with positive words, I have been able to break free from self-limiting beliefs and pursue my aspirations with renewed determination and confidence. I share this experience to encourage others to explore the power of positive self-talk and affirmations. Sometimes, the simplest tools can lead to profound transformations, empowering us to embrace our dreams and unlock our full potential.

In an ideal world, anxiety would be a figment of our imagination. We wouldn’t know what it feels like to be shaking in fear, or sick to our stomachs with worry. Anxiety would be a distant memory, fear would be a thing of fairy tales, and worry would be a wonder.

Yet, unfortunately, we live in a world riddled with anxiety. A world that is more conducive to creating anxiety rather than minimizing it. Whatever causes your anxiety, you know that it often comes up at inconvenient times. And the world doesn’t exactly stop for our anxiety to be dealt with — we must keep moving. We must go on with our day, we have to go to work, give the presentation, go to the meeting, pick up kids from school, make dinner, and carry on with so many other things in our lives. We don’t always have the luxury of really sitting with our anxiety and working through it in the moment, because anxiety doesn’t wait for your next therapy session. And because life doesn’t stop moving, I’m offering you 5 grounding exercises that may be able to bring you back to the center when you are feeling out of control but need to keep going.

You may have heard of a few of these before, but this post can serve as a reminder and a central location to find what works for you in the moment.

5-4-3-2-1 Method

The 5-4-3-2-1 method is helpful for those moments when you feel out of control. Maybe you feel a panic attack about to come on, and you need to orient yourself to time and place. The goal is to use all 5 of our senses to get grounded in the world around us. Start with identifying 5 objects that you can see, and if you are able, say them out loud. “Lamp, coffee cup, candle, plant, picture frame”. Next, identify 4 things that you can touch, and again, if you are able to say them out loud and physically touch these items, take a moment to hold them in your hand or let your hand rest on them. Then identify 3 things you can hear around you – be it a car driving by, the small talk of coworkers, the sound of a fan whirring, or anything else. If possible, say it out loud and take a moment to listen. Next, pick 2 things you can smell, then breathe deeply as you do to identify what they are. Finally, find 1 thing you can taste. Perhaps it’s a drink of water or a sip of coffee.

Now that you are grounded to the environment around you, I hope you feel a little more comfortable moving to the next task at hand.

Box Breathing

Box breathing grounds us by focusing on our breath rather than the anxious thoughts in our head. For box breathing, each breath will last for 4 seconds. If you can, use your finger to draw a box in the air as you breathe as a visual representation of what you’re doing.

First, if possible, sit with your feet flat on the ground. Take a deep breath for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds. Do this for 4 cycles, or as much as you need before returning to the moment you’re in.

Quick Mindfulness

If you regularly turn to mindfulness practices, this next technique can be a great tool during moments of anxiety. If you don’t regularly practice mindfullness, you can try this quick mindfulness exercise as a grounding technique.

If you are able, stand with your feet flat on the floor. Take off your shoes if you’re comfortable with it. Close your eyes and focus your attention on your feet: how do they feel as they make contact with the floor? Now move to your legs. How do they feel? Are they tight? Loose? Stiff? Next focus on your stomach: how does that feel? Move up your body, thinking about every part until you get to the top of your head. Now in review, where do you feel the anxiety the most? Notice what parts of your body hold tension and tightness. Notice your breathing. You don’t need to change anything, just bring your attention to the different areas of your body. Notice how your body feels, what your breathing is like, and where your anxiety is held. And when you feel ready, slowly open your eyes, and re-engage with your everyday life.

Something to Hold

Sometimes, when we are feeling anxious, it can really benefit us to have something tactile in our hands. For some, this may be a fidget toy, a smooth stone, or something you carry with you to provide grounding in times of anxiety. For others, it may be holding a piece of ice or washing your hands for the cool sensation it provides. Finding what works for you can prove to be very beneficial. Having a tactile object can prove to be a quick method of grounding in moments of anxiety, especially when you are in a situation where you’re unable to do a mindfulness or breathing exercise. I wear a ring that my mother gave me, and I often find myself spinning it to remember where I am, and remember her strength. I encourage you to find whatever it is that works for you.

Take a Walk

Sometimes we need to simply get away and take a walk. This can be a walk outside, a walk around the office building, or a walk around your home. Regardless of where, physically getting up and moving your body can help us to ground ourselves in the world around us and reduce anxiety. On your walk, consider incorporating a few stretches, twists, or shakes. Do what feels good to you. As you walk, consider practicing one of the other grounding techniques listed, or some variation of one. Take deep breaths, and pay attention to how your body feels. Do what you can to focus on your physical environment and how your body feels in the moment. There is no need to judge your mind for returning to the anxiety; that’s natural. If your mind wanders towards the source of your anxiety, acknowledge and notice what this feels like, and gently navigate it back to your body.

We’ve all heard someone in our lives pitch the notion, “Eating healthier is cheaper!” or “An apple a day keeps the doctor away!” or perhaps “People who don’t cook don’t care about having quality meals.” Over time, we have come to understand some of the ignorance of these statements when looking at the realities of food deserts, low-income single parenthood, and the imbalance some health trends have brought upon our communities. We already know that nutritious foods aren’t accessible to all, but another related problem that receives less attention is the lack of quality food education for all. We all benefit on a tremendous level from understanding how to meet our own dietary needs.

See the Difference

During my time working in a residential home for youth, one of my responsibilities was to prepare meals for the kids. Our mornings – like in many households with lots of children – were often chaotic. Therefore, breakfasts were often rushed by staff and seen as the least important thing when trying to get the kids together and over to school. On mornings when the kids may have only had several Eggos and milk, they were often unfocused, moody, and begging for a snack before the clock even hit 10am. I noticed this and took over curating more of the meals on my shift. As the kids tried new foods and incorporated more colorful choices into their mornings, they had more energy to engage and to sustain themselves. It wasn’t an easy transition, as eating healthy isn’t always a kid’s first choice, but as we tried out different options, many kids came to like or even request fruits and vegetables they once thought they hated. Even on busy mornings when we had to create fast meals, adding a side of berries or an orange to their cereal or avocado to their breakfast burrito gave them a more solid mindset.

I was also not eating healthily at this time and was constantly running around to try and get everything done. My mood was often low, and I was constantly tired and less creative at work. I began increasing my water intake and making sure at least one of my three meals a day was met with intention and was heavy with fruits and veggies. I followed no dieting plan and did not aggressively cut carbs or red meats from my life, but by making sure some of my snack and meal choices were high in vitamins, superfoods, or made with simple ingredients, my daily outlook shifted. I grew more patient in complex situations, I crashed less in the afternoons, and I felt happier and more motivated than I had in a long time.

Be Perfectly Imperfect at Eating

Recent studies have shown that people who struggle with mental health disorders such as Bipolar disorder, Anxiety disorders, Depression, OCD, Schizophrenia, and ADHD have deficiencies in vitamins, minerals, and Omega-3 fatty acids (Jauwena, 2019). Common symptoms of many of these disorders include skipping meals, overeating, and craving comfort foods . As we know, mental health depletion is far more complex than diet alone, but we have seen that increasing the intake of vitamin-rich foods can help counter the severity of these issues.

The increase of serious physical and mental health disorders can’t be fully prevented or treated by changing eating habits, but food has more to do with alleviating mental distress than we give it credit for. Here are some strategies on how to be more conscious, even when it’s hard.

1. Intentional meal setting: Eating well for every single meal isn’t always in the cards. Food deserts still plague the United States, and time to prepare meals can be scarce. If access is the issue, then, when available, encourage your kids and family members to reach for fruit and vegetable products. When you’re shopping, incorporate buying food products that have fewer complex ingredients and artificial sugars if possible. Be patient with yourself and begin habit setting by incorporating at least one vitamin-rich, unprocessed, dense meal a day. Ideas for practical or easy meal preparations can be found all over the internet including platforms like Pinterest, Instagram, and TikTok, making it fun and easy to research. For those without internet access, local libraries and bookstores carry quick reads on healthy snacking and meal making as well.

2. Meal prepping with friends- Sometimes starting something new with others is just more fun! Instead of going out to eat with friends, hit the grocery store and go home to create something different and yummy together! Trying new recipes or foods with friends can lower the anxiety or lack of motivation associated with doing these things alone.

3. Being okay with not having all the answers- Don’t be afraid to ask for help! We often assume eating better is common sense, but it’s really not! Reach out to friends, your therapist, and others in your community for tips and tricks until you find a balance that works for your own unique lifestyle. Better Life also works with several registered dietitians who can make recommendations about food, supplements and meal planning to fit your unique health history. Honor that we are still learning about the nutritious values of different foods and that different cultures have different health practices to offer – there’s not just one way. You won’t always know what’s right for your body, but exploring and expanding one’s palate can expand opportunities for a healthier and happier life!

References

Akhaury, K., & Chaware, S. (2022). Relation Between Diabetes and Psychiatric Disorders. Cureus, 14(10), e30733. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.30733. DRI Foundation. (2022). Diabetes Statistics. DRIF. https://diabetesresearch.org/diabetes-statistics/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw756lBhDMARIsAEI0AgnLJDq9bMEoeEyKwnwz3SxUDPzqFTgVPCDrjCfvq5Aiwnk_LVjBpMkaAiJdEALw_wcB.

Jauwena, G. (2019, January 15). Nutrient Deficiency: A Trigger For Mental Health Disorders. Life & Health Network. https://lifeandhealth.org/food/why-plant-based/nutrient-deficiency-the-trigger-of-mental-health-disorders/1314096.html?gclid=Cj0KCQjw756lBhDMARIsAEI0AglOWr4L62_CMek9ES1qfVAG23AuNg_zv2cUiQuXftzvQy66EWWI1hcaAqEUEALw_wcB.