What is Inner Child Work

Inner Child Work has received a lot of media attention in recent years, and there have been countless YouTube and Tik Tok videos uploaded about the practice. So, what is inner child work?

The term “inner child” refers to the thought patterns, feelings, hopes, and fears your childhood self held but remain present in adulthood. As an adult, you still carry parts of your childhood with you, whether they’re continued creative imagination or emotional wounds from experiences during that time in your life. Inner child work is finding ways to access that part of you and reconnect with it to incorporate it into your healing and self-discovery journey. As we grow into adulthood, each stage we move through (childhood, adolescence, young adulthood) sticks with us in some way. To know and accept yourself as you are today means knowing and accepting each age or version that has passed.

How inner child work can serve you

If you’ve found yourself stuck in feelings, thoughts, or relationship patterns that no longer serve you, inner child work may be beneficial. While inner child work can bring a lot of joy and creative energy back into your life, it may also bring up difficult memories and emotions. This technique is most often used with those who need healing and reconciliation for adverse childhood experiences and traumas. It validates the experiences you faced and the ways you protected yourself later on. Accessing your inner child can help you to make sense of the ways you deal with emotions or engage in relationships today as an adult. It also allows you to find accessible ways to hold space and process all the emotions you experience — not just the “happy” ones — and break unhealthy patterns.

As a therapist, I appreciate inner child work for a few reasons. This work not only allows us to address and examine our pasts, but also see how our past may still be impacting our behaviors and thoughts today. It also allows us to see ourselves as a whole person, shaped by the experiences we’ve had over our lifespan. I also really enjoy the creative and imaginative aspect of this work. Sometimes the best way to re-charge is by allowing our creativity to flow.

Ways to Access your Inner Child

This work is not always easy, and it’s most successful when done with a trusted therapist. To start, here are a few ways you can incorporate this work into your own healing practices.

1.) Write a letter to or from your childhood self

We’re often our own harshest critics, but what do you think the 5, 7, or 10 year old you would think of all that you’ve accomplished? Taking a step back to see how much you’ve experienced since childhood (and how far you’ve come) can be helpful in accessing gratitude and appreciation for oneself.

If you find yourself struggling to break the habit of negative self-talk, consider writing your younger self a letter. What does the younger you need to hear from the present you? What validation can you offer yourself to combat that negative self-talk?

2.) Meditation/Visualization

If you enjoy meditation and visualization practices, I invite you to welcome your inner child into that space. While that may sound abstract, it helps to visualize yourself as a child or have a picture of your younger self. Try repeating a self-love mantra to the younger version of yourself, like: “You are loved. You are enough. You are healing and growing each day.” Try imagining the present you giving a hug to your childhood self.

3.) Engage in a creative activity

Allowing your creative side to flow without any expectations is a great way to get in touch with your inner child! Whether it’s painting, coloring, or breaking out the old sidewalk chalk, finding some time to get away from all the adult responsibilities you hold to just allow yourself to create can be incredibly beneficial for your emotional well-being.

Sources:

Almeida-Farrell, G. (2022, October 25). What is Inner child work?. Holistic Wellness Practice. https://www.holisticwellnesspractice.com/hwp-blog/2022/10/25/what-is-inner-child-work

Davis, S. (2020, July 20). Healing trauma through inner child work. CPTSDfoundationorg. https://cptsdfoundation.org/2020/07/20/healing-trauma-through-inner-child-work/

Dodson, J. (Ed.). (2023, June 5). Inner child: Healing your inner child. BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/inner-child-what-is-it-what-happened-to-it-and-how-can-i-fix-it/

Sjöblom, M., Öhrling, K., Prellwitz, M., & Kostenius, C. (2016, June 16). Health throughout the lifespan: The phenomenon of the inner child reflected in events during childhood experienced by older persons. International journal of qualitative studies on health and well-being. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4912602/

Sutton, J. (2023, April 26). Inner child healing: 35 practical tools for growing beyond your past. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/inner-child-healing/

I’m sure you can think of times where you may have laughed so hard you cried, or your cheeks felt sore from smiling for so long. Maybe you remember the lightness you experienced in your body afterwards. Laughter is a powerful tool we all have available to us that can benefit our emotional and physical health. Laughter, like crying, allows us to release emotions and energy in a healthy way. When we laugh, it has been found that cortisol and epinephrine, two of the body’s stress hormones, are reduced, which can help decrease the intensity of anxiety symptoms. When I am feeling stuck in an endless to-do list or overwhelmed with situations outside of my control, calling a friend or watching a funny dog video can feel like the reset I need. Contemporary research from positive psychology has found a correlation between positive styles of humor and lower perceived stress (Lonczak, 2023). The categorization of positive styles of humor refers to self-enhancing humor meaning humor that does not put yourself down or minimize any struggles you may be facing, but rather allows a reframe and reprieve from negative thoughts. Using humor can help problems feel less daunting, reframing them as obstacles to overcome rather than permanent, impassable “roadblocks”. Along with reducing the level of stress hormones, humor can also increase the production of antibody producing cells, strengthening the immune system. The saying “laughter is the best medicine” is clearly onto something when we are aware of all the impacts it has on our body’s hormones and endorphins.

Laughter and Humor in Therapy

While there are times and places that humor may not always be viewed as “appropriate,” therapy sessions do not fall into that category. That’s right—you’re allowed to laugh in therapy! Humor is a healthy way of expressing ourselves and coping with things we cannot fully make sense of yet. It may even allow you to feel safer with your therapist as your relationship develops

and you begin to dig deeper into the challenges and difficulties you have been facing. This does not mean that you should feel pressured to “make light” of your situation or engage in self-deprecating rhetoric; when we rely too heavily on humor, it can interfere with the deeper work needed for healing. But, when used in small to moderate doses in therapy, humor can allow you to discuss what is troubling you in an accessible way, instead of covering up or suppressing the emotions you may be experiencing. In my experience facilitating groups for those in recovery from substance abuse, I witnessed greater connection and more vulnerable discussion when participants were able to laugh with each other. Laughter, like smiling, is a pro-social behavior that can strengthen your connections and comfort with others. I’d like to share a guided Laughing Meditation and invite you to try it. It may be uncomfortable to begin. The first time I participated in a laughter meditation, I remember feeling slightly embarrassed at first. But after the first few minutes, I couldn’t help but give in to the genuine laughter. I started with a forced laugh and deep breaths, and as I continued to force the laughter I started really laughing, and before I knew it everyone participating in the meditation was in tears from laughing so hard. This is a fun meditation to do with others, especially those you want to re-connect with. Laughing is contagious and brings us together. If you do participate in this meditation, try to bring awareness to the sensations you notice in your body before and after. Notice if you feel lighter or heavier, more relaxed or tense. There isn’t a wrong or right way to feel after this exercise. Of course, laughter and humor are not the answer to every problem, but they are beneficial tools to aid in the therapy and healing journey.

Sources:

Lonczak, H. S. (2023, April 6). Humor in psychology: Coping and laughing your woes away. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/humor-psychology/

Scott, E. (2020, March 7). How laughter can relieve stress and help your immune system. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/the-stress-management-and-health-benefits-of-laughter-3145084

YouTube. (2020). Laughing Meditation. YouTube. Retrieved June 16, 2023, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqkaOE-2HR8.