Therapy, for the first time, can be a scary thing for some people; this is an entirely normal and valid feeling. We wrote this so you know what to expect, learn what therapy is, and get the most out of each session.

What actually is Therapy?

Every client & therapist has a unique therapeutic relationship structured around your specific needs in the context of your life. No two treatments are the same because no two people are the same. However, there are some general patterns we may follow.

1. We will spend a few sessions getting to know you, your life, your values, and a bit about your history. Understanding the complete picture of who you are, means we can tailor treatment to your needs.
2. We want to know your long-term and short-term goals. We can work on them together if you’re having trouble identifying goals. Let us know where you want your life to be after a few months and what you’d like to work on this week.
3. Imagine your therapist as a guide, walking alongside you on a path in the forest. We work to point out things you might bump into, like trees or rocks. We give you tools to spot those things for yourself and how to not let them trip you up in the future.
4. You’re in control of your sessions and our time together. You have everything you need to live the life you want. We’re here to help you see it and bring it out. If you’re not ready to talk about something, we’ll wait until you are.
5. We are constantly working together. You never have to go through anything alone. No matter what you’re feeling, we’re together on that call or in that room.
6. If you’re feeling highly uncomfortable in therapy, let us know. We’re trained to monitor how you’re doing and ensure you’re not feeling too uncomfortable. We’ll talk about sensitive topics that can be hard to discuss. Remember, you’re in control.

Your first therapy session with us

The truth is most people don’t continue beyond their first therapy session. We think that’s because most other therapists don’t prepare people for what the first session is like. Your first session in therapy is not typical. This is usually called an Intake Session. For a lot of people, it can feel awkward. The first session is for us to learn as much about all the different parts of your life. We ask many questions and stay on each topic for only a few minutes. We ask about your family, relationships, work, identity, health, habits, etc.

We invite you to trust the process and know that we will start the therapy work together after your intake session.

Therapy takes work and a lot of trust

There is a lot of value to gain from the work you do during your one-hour weekly sessions. However, continue practicing what you learn during the week to get the most from your sessions. Therapy is a lot of learning and training the mind to perceive the world differently than it has your whole life. It takes time, work, and a lot of practice to keep training the mind.

Therapy is sometimes a lot of experimentation as well. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for someone else. That’s okay because we have a lot of tools in our belt. So lean in, even if it doesn’t seem like it would work, and try it out. Practice the exercises and let your therapist know whether it’s working. If it is, great! We’ll continue doing it and refining it. And if it doesn’t work, that’s okay too. Let us know and we have lots of things to try together.

Before each session, spend a few minutes thinking about the week, and prepare for your time with your therapist. Think about what you’d like to work on and improve this week. Think about what happened during the week, all the good and bad things, and share with your therapist anything you feel comfortable sharing.

Every year the American Psychological Association (APA) conducts a Stress in America report. The most recent report (2021) showed that among adults employed, Work was the highest source of stress, surpassing Money, Family Responsibilities, and Relationships. And this makes sense! Work is one of the most significant parts of our daily waking lives, has one of the most significant impacts on our quality of life, and can ultimately dictate and shape the rest of our life. Work can be a fantastic experience for people, but unfortunately for many, it’s not. When work stress becomes too much to handle, it can lead to significant burnout.

Burnout occurs after repeated stressors at work do not get resolved. It is a common occurrence because it can be challenging to change your work environment. You’re left at the mercy of needing that paycheck to pay your rent, utilities, and bills, making it hard to speak up out of fear of losing your job.

Signs of burnout

One of the first steps to healing is recognizing the signs that you may be experiencing burnout. Once we can identify this problem, we can start taking steps to recover.

Signs of Burnout may include:

• Too tired to work
• No longer enjoy your job
• Feeling unable to do your job well
• Constantly irritable by coworkers and managers
• Trouble concentrating and focusing
• Feeling emotionally exhausted after each day
• Not feeling connected or engaged with your work
• Feeling cynical about the future of your role or company
• Lack of trust in coworkers or managers

Contributors to burnout

Several things can contribute to burnout and look different from person to person and company to company. In general, when your basic safety and acceptance needs are not met, it’s a sure indicator that burnout is here or on the way.

Some items that could contribute to burnout include:

• Not feeling physically or mentally safe at work
• Working more hours than you should
• Lack of appreciation for the job you’re doing
• Inability to take time off or being made to feel guilty when you do
• Harassment by coworkers or managers
• Gaslighting
• Emotional abuse
• Abuse of power
• Lack of agency or control over your work

Burnout at work can quickly escalate into a downward spiral, where you’re finding it difficult to perform your job well, which could lead to added pressure from managers and more intense burnout symptoms. It’s essential to try to break that cycle to take care of yourself. Additionally, burnout symptoms don’t always end when your shift ends and can easily carry over into the rest of your life, affecting friendships, family, overall health, sleep, diet, exercise, and enjoyment of hobbies.

Defending against burnout

Defending against burnout isn’t always an easy thing to do on our own. There are a few steps that you can start to take and evaluate.

Know that you are not alone and nothing is wrong with you. Burnout is common among working adults, especially in a world of additional stressors.

Set boundaries around work. Work the schedule that works best for you. Try to separate work from the rest of your life. Make sure you have enough time outside work to care for yourself and the rest of your life.

Take care of yourself. Sometimes when work stress gets too high, it’s hard to manage the rest of your life—Check in with yourself on eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and getting some exercise each day.

Explore other job opportunities. When burnout takes too big of a toll, it may be time to find another job. However, not everyone has the privilege or access to do so quickly. There are ways to build skills to help you cope with your current role. One of those is to work with a therapist.

Work with a therapist. If you’re having difficulty feeling motivated at work, exhausted, stressed out, or unable to relax, it may be time to check in with a mental health expert. Many therapists and counselors specialize in Burnout, including the ones here at Better Life.