Although anger is a prickly emotion to experience, it’s an important one to pay attention to. Anger can be a signal that a boundary needs to be put up or that a need is not being met.  Many people were never taught how to healthily express their anger and have learned to suppress this uncomfortable emotion. When we don’t express our anger in a healthy way or push it down, it can come out in other ways, such as reactivity or rage. Therapy can be a safe place to explore this anger and learn new ways to understand, manage and express it in a productive way. 

What Therapy Might Look Like

Therapy is a place where you can better understand yourself. A therapist can support you in managing your anger by first getting to know it. Where does it show up? What is your response to the feeling of anger? What are the drawbacks of expressing (or not expressing) your anger in this way? From here, your therapist may incorporate tools to help you become more comfortable with the feeling of anger without reacting to it. An example of this might be offering grounding techniques , such as naming the emotion or engaging your senses in some way. 

A Word on Radical Acceptance

Perhaps your feelings of anger stem from a situation or event that is out of your control. Another approach your therapist may use to help you address anger (or any painful emotion) is radical acceptance, a foundational skill taught within Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Radical acceptance means to fully acknowledge the reality of whatever circumstance is causing you distress. This can be applied to a recent death of a family member, a loss of a job, or processing a natural disaster. Although radical acceptance can be an empowering skill to develop in taking back control of your emotions, it is important to note what radical acceptance doesn’t mean. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you think the situation is acceptable. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you are throwing in the towel. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you are sweeping the issue under the rug. Ultimately, radical acceptance can be a valuable tool in managing anger and reactivity by allowing the reality of whatever circumstance you are in to exist, ultimately, diminishing your reaction to it. 

Whether you’re needing guidance to navigate and problem solve the source of your feelings of anger or support in moving toward radical acceptance, you don’t have to do it alone. 

Sources:

DBT Skills List. (n.d.). DBT Self Help. Retrieved March 16, 2023, from https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/

Frazier, S. N., & Vela, J. (2014). Dialectical behavior therapy for the treatment of anger and aggressive behavior: A review. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 19(2), 156-163. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2014.02.001

Linehan, M. M.(2015) DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). New York, NY, US: Guilford Press.

McKay, M., Wood, J. C., & Brantley, J. (2019). The dialectical behavior therapy skills workbook: Practical DBT exercises for learning mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. New Harbinger.

Whether you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or go through seasons of anxiety, DBT can be a tool that can help. If you are not familiar with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), please see our previous blog post that covers DBT in depth.

Everyone at one point in their life experiences anxiety in some capacity. In fact, an estimated 31.1% of adults in the U.S. are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives (US Department of Health and Human Services). You know the feeling; nervousness, racing heart, tight chest, sweaty palms, stomachaches, muscle tension, consistent worrying or feeling like the walls are caving in. Here are a few skills that can provide immediate relief when anxiety strikes.

How DBT Skills Can Curve Anxiety

• Mindfulness – one of DBT’s skills is learning how to separate from your emotions through mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness can be as simple as reminding yourself that you are not your thoughts.  
• Emotional Regulation and Distress Tolerance –  These are fancy DBT terms that mean “gaining control of your emotions” and “getting comfortable being uncomfortable”. Applying these skills when anxiety hits has proven to signifcantly decrease symptoms.  

What’s the Evidence?

Although DBT was originally created to treat Borderline Personality Disorder, it has been proven to be an effective treatment for eating disorders, suicidal ideation, substance abuse PTSD, anxiety and more. The strong focus on mindfulness and emotional regulation make DBT a reliable option to consider for anxiety. 

Therapy isn’t an Option at this Time?

Not a problem. There are steps you can take right now to start implementing DBT skills and feel more in control of your anxiety. Start by finding small ways to seperate from your anxiety and see it as a seperate part of you. 

Here are a few ideas to try:

• Move your body in some way
• Journal 
• Connect with nature (bonus points if you can get some sunshine while doing it!)
• Cook a new recipe 
• Interact with a pet or a friends’ pet
• Light a candle and focus on the flame for 60 seconds
• Draw, paint, or color
• play your favorite song LOUDLY

Want to give DBT a try for your anxiety? Reach out to Better Life Therapy to be connected with one of our trained therapists. 

Sources:

Canadian Agency for Drugs and Technologies in Health. (2017). Dialectical behavioral therapy for adults with mental illness: A review of Clinical Effectiveness and guidelines.

Falabella, G. S., Johnides, B. D., Hershkovich, A., Arett, J., & Rosmarin, D. H. (2022). CBT/DBT-informed intensive outpatient treatment for anxiety and depression: A naturalistic treatment outcomes study. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 29(3), 614-624. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cbpra.2021.05.001

Malivoire, B. L. (2020). Exploring DBT skills training as a treatment avenue for generalized anxiety disorder. Clinical Psychology (New York, N.Y.), 27(4), n/a. https://doi.org/10.1111/cpsp.12339

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (n.d.). Anxiety disorders. National Institute of Mental Health. Retrieved April 5, 2023, from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders 

We’ve all felt it. That feeling of being disconnected from yourself or others. Feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, or intense emotions. These are all signs of mental uprooting. In the therapy world, this is called ‘emotional dysregulation’ and it can creep in quickly. Having a few skills in your toolbox can make all the difference. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is a behavioral therapy that is often used to help people feel more in control of their emotions. DBT offers many tools to help you feel grounded, quickly.

What is a grounding technique?

A grounding technique is a tool to help you come back to the present moment. Anxiety, depression, intense emotions, and other circumstances can cause us to feel out of sorts and out of control. Grounding techniques help break up that negative pattern and help you come back to yourself. It’s hard to know how to ground yourself when you are in the moment, so here are 5 ways to feel more grounded the next time you feel out of sorts.

5 Skills to Help You Feel More Grounded

1. Breathe – an oldie but a goodie. There’s no denying the huge impact breathing can have on regulating our nervous system AKA calming us down. Try breathing in through your nose for 4 counts and out through your mouth for 8. Do this as many times as you need.
2. Name the Emotion – naming our emotions helps us separate from them and gives us the power to move through them. Write it down, say it out loud, tell a friend.
3. Use the Power of the Senses – Connecting with our senses brings us back to the “here and now”. Try smelling your favorite candle or essential oil, looking at a photo that brings you joy, or a movie that sparks positive feelings. Listen to music that makes you feel good or try eating something warm, cold, or spicy. Spend time with your pet, ask for a hug, or hold something soft in your hand. Anything that engages your senses in a comforting way works!
4. Change the Air – Try changing your environment. This can happen in a big way, like getting outside for a long bike ride, or in a small way, like opening a window in your home or sitting in a new room. Both help create space between you and your uncomfortable feelings.
5. Practice Self-Compassion – Be kind to yourself! Everyone has moments of feeling out of touch sometimes. Judging yourself for feeling disconnected will only make you feel worse. Give yourself some self-compassion and ask yourself what you need.

If you find yourself having frequent experiences of overwhelm, intense emotion or disconnection, many therapists at Better Life Therapy are trained in DBT and are ready to help.

Sources:

• Adams, K. S., & Branscome, J. M. (2020). Emotion dysregulation and anxiety in students: Mindfulness strategies for school counselors. Georgia School Counselors Association Journal, 27, 7.
• Hessler-Kaufmann, J. B., Heese, J., Berking, M., Voderholzer, U., & Diedrich, A. (2020). Emotion regulation strategies in BULIMIA NERVOSA: An experimental investigation of mindfulness, self-compassion, and cognitive restructuring. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation, 7(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-020-00129-3
• Jerath R, Edry JW, Barnes VA, Jerath V. Physiology of long pranayamic breathing: neural respiratory elements may provide a mechanism that explains how slow deep breathing shifts the autonomic nervous system. Med Hypotheses. 2006;67(3):566-71. doi: 10.1016/j.mehy.2006.02.042. Epub 2006 Apr 18. PMID: 16624497.
• McKay, M., Wood, J. C., & Brantley, J. (2019). The dialectical behavior therapy skills workbook: Practical DBT exercises for learning mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. New Harbinger.
• Neff, K. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. Yellow Kite.

It’s 2023, and although we are making strides toward destigmatizing mental health challenges, the topic of self-harm can still be taboo for some. Self-harm is often a secretive form of coping with intense emotions such as saddness, anger, frustration, loneliness and more. The goal of this blog is to bring awareness and normalize self-harm as well as provide immediate strategies to help yourself if you currently are struggling with it.

What is Considered Self-Harm?

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) describes self-harm as the act of hurting yourself intentionally. Self-harming behaviors are a coping mechanism many teenagers, young people, and adults develop to manage intense emotions. Many people who self-harm learned to repress their emotions and self-harming acts as a way to release them. Although self-harm creates a short-lived sense of calm, w  it also comes shame and guilt, which can lead to more self-harm, creating a vicious cycle. Examples of ways people may self-harm are cutting, burning, picking wounds or scabs, head banging and pulling out hair.

How DBT Can Help

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is commonly used in psychotherapy to support in managing intense emotions and minimizing self-harm. The goal of DBT is to provide positive coping mechanisms for when intense emotions surface and create healthy emotional regulation. Although DBT is most effective when conducted with a trained professional, there are a few skills you can apply immediately to help bring down intense emotions that lead to self-harm.

Support Yourself Now

If you find yourself in a situation where you are feeling the urge to self-harm and are unable to seek professional help at this time, trying one of these options might help:

1. Crisis hotline 9-8-8 – self-harm is almost always accompanied by intense emotions. The crisis hotline can be a place to talk about your feelings and get immediate support.
2. Change your body temperature – splash cold water on your face or take a warm bath.
3. Distract yourself- watch your favorite comedy, engage in intense exercise for 20 min or hold an ice cub in your hand and feel it melt
4. Practice mindfulness- observe your emotions and try not to change them. Remind yourself that you are in control and that they will pass.

How Therapy Can Help

Although the techniques above can provide new ways of coping with intense feelings that lead to self-harm, talking with a therapist allows space to address the underlying issues and paves the way toward healing. Many therapists at Better Life Therpay are trained in DBT and ready to help.

References

Linehan, M. M.(2015) DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). New York, NY, US: Guilford Press.

https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/#what-is-self-harm-1

https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Common-with-Mental-Illness/Self-harm